If you thought Roseanne Conner was cranky, say hello -- cautiously -- to Steve Patterson, who almost deserves combat pay for getting through life in the suburbs. His new next-door neighbors are suing Anne, his wife of 20 years, to force her to cut down a beloved bougainvillea vine in her garden. His daughter, Courtney, thinks she's an Indian princess. And his son, Henry, is smitten with a teenager down the street who just got pregnant for the second time. Is it any wonder Steve wishes shame would come back as a national emotion?